Last Post - 13th June 2020

 

It has been more than four months since we last met.

I still remember that day. 13^th June 2020. You looked so beautiful in that blue Kurti. I was there. To pick you up from you place. I saw you walk towards the cab wearing a white mask on your face. I could just see your eyes from far away. The eyes looking out for me, with the same love and affection as always. I was simply overwhelmed and overjoyed with the aura that you had.

As we sat together in the cab, you held my hand. I resisted. Our last meeting did not go very well and I was in two minds about a lot of things. You asked me about my health. You scolded me for smoking too much. You asked me about Peechu. I sat there answering each question in monosyllables. I was not in a right state of mind for sure, yet I never stopped loving you. I was not able to resist your touch. It felt that is something out of the world.

We reached my place, or as we called it our place. The choicest of curtains, cushions, bedsheets everything was kept locked in my closet. I wanted you to decorate the place yourself, after we were together for a lifetime. I had put up a new bedsheet for your arrival, cleaned the room, the toilet was spick and span and the kitchen smelled of the delicious chicken that I had cooked just for you. You entered the flat, welcomed by Peechu who was waiting for you eagerly. She knew you just by your smell. She had been trained that way. I had her smell the t-shirt that you were last wearing, my t-shirt. It had your smell in it and she recognized you and leapt at you like a child meeting her mother.

You were her mother, if I am her father. You spent some time with her, patting her on the back, scratching her ears. Peechu was more than happy that day. The happiest that I have ever seen her.

We sat on the bed, spoke about few things of not much importance. I was resisting my temptation to touch you on the cheeks and kiss you on your forehead. Just to show you that I love you with all of myself. That I love you more than anything in this cosmos.

You came near me suddenly and sat on my lap. I resisted again. But could not. We kissed softly. Then something happened. We forgot everything. We had the longest and the most passionate kiss. The softness of your lips and the feeling of your hands on my back was enough for me to forget reality and again enter into our world of dreams. We laid down beside each other and kissed again. I held you in my arms like a child grasping his favorite toy. I never wanted to let go of you ever. I never wanted to lose sight of you ever. I never wanted to stop loving you, ever.

Yes, we had sex. I have always termed it as love-making. I was inside you and with every push I could feel the warmth of our relationship. I could feel that there is something in this world which is my own. Which is probably something I have always craved for and I know you have as well.

After that I just lied down on your arms. The place where I found all the solace in the world. Tears rolled down my eyes. I just looked at your face and cried. I still don’t know why! Might be because we were together after 88 long days! I said nothing. I could not say anything. I just continued to look at you as you continued to wipe my tears. You said nothing, though I wanted you to say something. I wanted you to just say once that you love me and will always be with me, no matter what.

We had lunch. All three of us together. For the first and probably the last time. I had made your favorite chicken curry, the dhaba style one which you loved a lot. Maybe that’s the last time I had a proper lunch!

I have always imagined life to be like this. Just me and you! With whatever we have, be it more or less, adequate or inadequate, good or bad, I just knew that we would be happy. I would never ever let tears come to your eyes ever. I would never ever let anything bad happen to you ever. I will always just love you and care for you till the end of time. And as I always said ‘I Live for you’!

Afghani Kebab

I just wanted to be with her. No matter what. All I wanted was to see her beautiful face full of happiness every single day. That was too much to ask for I know. But yes She was as adamant as I was!

One fine morning I received a text that she is not coming to office and she will be working from home. I remained as casual as I could be yet the feeling of not seeing her and meeting her was very profound in my texts. She understood that I was missing her madly and badly. And yes I really was finding it difficult that day to concentrate. 

Enter a common friend who took the responsibility of bringing her to me during late afternoon hours. I had already tried having lunch that day but I missed her so much that I just could not have my fill. I knew she was somewhere and had not eaten.

Post my defeated lunch session as I was on my seat trying not to think of her and concentrate on work when she suddenly came barging in and occupied the seat next to me. I can never ever explain the feeling! I just looked at her and knew that she had not eaten, and I too wanted to have something the instant I saw her, she is all it takes for me to live a civilised life!

We experienced the best 'Kabab' that day. Chicken Afghani Kebab from a food joint in the food court with Roomali Roti. She fed me most of the food which I had got for her and I could literally sense the feeling that she had when she saw me eating out of her hands! That's by far the best feeling in this world for me.

What we did that day was nothing but have Afghani Kebab once every week and each time I just wanted her to feel good about it. Yes we did have arguments over an Afghani Kebab but all I knew is that it makes her happy if she scolds me or asks me to do something. I did try my best to just agree to what she said. But yes the Afghani Kebab is awesome she would agree to it. 

Temple Run 2

Once we had settled down that the Temple visit on Saturdays will be like this - I pick her up, wait outside for couple of hours(with Tea, Cigarette and Pink Floyd), once she is done with the pooja, we had breakfast (Yet another story) and I drop her back to her place.

This routine continued for couple of weeks but I became impatient, not because I had to wait outside, but she had to endure a lot to enter the temple the queue was so huge every time. I needed to find a quick, made easy and fast technique to get her inside. On the third Saturday of our visit, I decided to check out the surroundings of the famous Kalkaji Mandir and figure out a short cut route.

Enter 'Narayan', a solitary man who sat on a high altar just opposite to a small gate which led to the interior of the temple. A gate which only opened to the trustees and to people who gave a outright donation of more than 500 bucks to the head 'Pandit'. I observed Narayan for some time that day and figured out that he had a key to that very gate and if I figured out how to bribe him, her wait time would reduce from 2 hours to a mere 10 minutes! That was something I wanted because it meant two things - one, she had to endure a bare minimum queue and Secondly we could spend some more time over breakfast. 

Now came the tough part, how to bribe the guy?

I spoke with him for good half an hour that day I came to know everything about his family and his hometown. Trust me I know more about him than his wife! The kind of indirect sales pitch I carried that day was enough for him to give me the offer to enter via the gate by paying a bare minimum 50 bucks! Too much of a bargain in return for a lot! 

I told this to her and the next Saturday she entered the temple via Narayan's wild card entry. I never entered for I feel that she will pray enough for both of us and also I simply believed in her too much to believe in anything else. I did enter once (another story better never said). I waited beside Narayan every time for her to be back, and every single time she looked even prettier. I could just sit watching her face for an eternity or maybe more! 

Kiss from a Rose

Our office timings were the most dreaded ever, 8:30 AM to 5:30 PM. Who the hell works so early? 

I had a pact with my Manager that I will not arrive before 10:30 AM and I used public transport so I could do that. She on the other hand availed the company cab service which picked he up at 7:45 AM (I can understand her pain, she loves to just sleep without any disturbance). Now once we were together the minutes seemed to pass a bit too slow, and we almost stayed back twice a week post office hours and spent quality time in the food court having 'Khullar Chai' (Petrichor again, the smell from the Khullar). Then my responsibility was to drop her at the lane adjacent to her home and then return home and we again used to be glued to the phone for hours speaking about anything and everything under the sun.

On one such day, it was already late, about 8:30 PM when I booked an Uber. Our office was 26 kilometers from her home but it took about 40-45 minutes thanks to the Yamuna Expressway. We boarded the cab and started chatting about anything and everything that sprang up in our minds. The situation became a bit cosy because of the AC and also because of the fact that there were less lights around. Its that time when we kissed for the first time (Not going into details). The feeling for me was divine. It instilled faith and belief in me and I felt that I had found the power source to survive for another 100 years or maybe more. I knew she had the similar feeling because post that we were short of words and spoke very little. 

I reached home after dropping her when I received a text from her 'Thank you for making me realise I am still alive' That's what she said.

I replied 'That's a previledge you gave me my love' and this time I send the kiss smiley to her and the heart shaped one as well. I could sense the joy and the feeling of extreme happiness in her that night when we again spoke for hours on the phone. We never mentioned what happened on the cab yet somehow I felt that the bond had grown to be stronger, the love had become incremental and I knew she was mine, forever! She did give me the world. For she is the world I stay in. She is the one who I beleive in and she is the one without whom I am just another guy in the known world. 

Temple Run

Post 11th of November, my agenda in life was very simple. All I ever wanted was to give her the life of her dreams, something which I knew from my heart that she deserved entirely. My sole motive was to keep her happy, contented and help her to achieve her dreams and aspirations. For me it was customary to wait for her cab at the gate of our office complex and wave her the last goodbye of the day. I know it made her happy, but I was too selfish a person, it made me even the more happier to see her smile and blush when I was there. I could sense the butterflies in her stomach, literally!

She had the routine of visiting the temple every Saturday. Kalkaji Mandir in South Delhi while we both stayed in adjacent localities in East Delhi.

She used to wake up early on Saturday (Only on Saturday is when she actually got the willpower to wake up early, rest of the days was purely an act of God), and then she used to take the long metro ride with an interchange at Mandi House station. I disliked this to a large extent. Why metro? But that was not the point, even I travelled by Metro. The point was why would she have to undergo so much of pain to reach the temple and again wait in line for more than an hour! I needed to find an alternative.

The first Saturday after 11th November, 16th, I woke up a bit late and saw her texts that she had already left for the temple and is about to reach. I asked 'Are you alone?' My thought was there might be a family member accompanying her. She said 'Yes, I always come here alone. No one at my home beleives in God'

'You should have told me. I can come with you' I said, not because I wanted to be with her (Thats true everytime though) but I just wanted her to be comfortable. I called her that very moment and said 'Wait for me in front of the Metro Station, I am coming' 

She went about her usual rant that I need not come and requested me not to take the pain of travelling early morning. She said 'Even you dont beleive in God. Then why will you come'. 

I said just four words and I stick to it till this day 'I beleive in you'

I was adamant. I reached the Metro Station in an Auto as fast as I could and saw her waiting for me, wearing a black jeans and a baby pink kurti. She had a small red 'Tika' on her forehead as well. I was simply bowled at the sight of her. How can someone be so pretty and simple at the same time? No make up, no ornaments, no fancy clothes yet the aura that reflected from her blurred the surroundings. I just kept on seeing her as if it was the last time I was seeing her.

She felt a bit awkward in the beginning. It was just the first week of our relationship and she thought maybe I was doubting on her. But trust me, no such thought ever came to my mind. All I wanted was to be with her every single moment so that I can never ever miss out on her expressions and her smile. I just wanted her to be as happy as she was that very moment when she laid eyes on me. I could sense that she was overjoyed and overwhelmed. 

I simply said 'Lets have some breakfast at Nehru Place' and I hailed an auto. She got in and I simply held her hand, the way she looked at me I could feel that she could give the world to me (She did! Read on).

Ignorance is Bliss

I had just returned from the yearly trip to my hometown Kolkata. And as per custom, I carried 10 tins of packed rasgullas for near and dear ones and for office folks.

I was unsure as to why I even carried one tin specifically for her! She is not very fond of rasgullas, she is more of a ras malai person (Yet another story!). But nevertheless she was a Bengali afterall, she should like it and so should her family as well.

Initially I was reluctant to give it to her in office. What will she think? What will the other think? Will it seem to desperate? So for the first week after my return the rasgullas were kept safe in my fridge at home, and since they were packed ones it had an expiry date after 3 months. Hence, lot of time to ponder over as to how I should hand it over to her.

I decided one day that I need to come out of my shell and message her once to meet up outside office. I texted her one fine Sunday to meet me for 10 minutes as I had some urgent work with her, did not mention about the rasgullas though. She said fine she will text ne as to when will it be a suitable time to meet up.

The much awaited text never came but yes we did talk about other things like my profile pic on WhatsApp. She even edited that for me the very moment (That's still my dp on WhatsApp in my primary mobile number). Yet the text regarding our meeting never came. Now me being a man decided to not poke her much on the meeting part, I felt that maybe she doesn't want to meet! Maybe she has other engagements! Or maybe she simply cared a damn! 

It was the 11th day of November, a fine Monday when I reached office. I decided to show my disdain for her by simply ignoring her and not talking to her at all. She sat in the seat next to me, and my habit was to just look at her face everytime I was talking on the phone. That day somehow I tried not to do that and she understood that something is not right with me.

I was finding it really difficult to ignore her! How can one ignore such a pretty face? How can one ignore that small mole on her chin which occupied a lot of place in my heart? She also felt something and started poking me as to why I was not talking to her, to which I replied in one sentence answers like 'I am busy' or 'Not ignoring you at all'.

While I was returning home from work after an entire day of ignoring her, I received the longest text ever sent to me by someone. It was she explaining and asking me as to why I was doing so, yet also admitting the fact that it was her fault that she could not meet up. 

That message tore me apart and I realised one thing that day. 'Love is something which silently creeps upon us, you can never choose to ignore it'.

I pacified her as she was being all emotional. I told her one thing that day 'You and only you will forever remain my first priority'.

To which she replied 'If you say like this then I might start loving you one day'. (She did! Read on)

Kolkata Chicken Biryani

Chicken Biryani is nothing but purely bliss. Especially being a typical Bengali man, I preferred the legendary'Kolkata Style' of Biryani which contains a huge potato and a boiled egg. Now very few people know that the Kolkata Style of chicken biryani was actually made by the chef of Nawab Wajid Ali Shah of Lucknow hence considering that fact it was an extension of the Lucknavi Biryani. 

I shared this fact once on the lunch table in office and people laughed. She hates potatoes yet loves chicken a lot and she joined the others in laughing about the potato in the Biryani.

I knew the fact and kept quite. Later on one day I bumped into a video which actually stated the same and I shared the link with her on WhatsApp. Also I wrote the lines 'Please watch this video. It proves my point that Kolkata Biryani originated from lucknow'.

She read and replied 'Did not know that Biryani ka aloo can be so important for someone'

I replied 'Myself not taken seriously was more important here'.

She replied with her usual and my limited knowledge of smiles. I hate smileys to the core. It actually means just the opposite of what we are thinking and yet projects that in a comical manner. If you are lazy enough to write a small sentence, then please call me! 

But yes that was the first start to our personal conversations and I felt like initiating something which I believed in with all my heart and soul. I liked the way she sends the smileys, completely out of context anytime and in even the gravest of situations. I like the child in her, I simply love the way she calls my name (very seldom, only when she is at the peak of her emotional state, she usually refers me to a different name which has many tonal as well as spelling variations). I felt a connection, I felt someone is there within, who can give me the world (Did she? Read on).

Cash on Delivery

The ecommerce websites in India generate maximum revenue only from female customers who (usually) order and then return and ask for the refund. She was not that type at all. She ordered only things that can be used. Except occasionally buying dresses which did not fit and returning them again. One more thing, she totally believed in the concept of 'Cash on Delivery' and simply a big no to online transactions (She still has only an SBI account and she visits the bank to update her passbook! Beat that).

For some months I was her companion when she had to take an order from the main gate of our office campus. I simply loved those small walks, it meant spending some time with her and talking about nonsense stuff. The way she asked me to accompany her was even the more affectionate. You can never say no to that! 

Once on one of our such strolls we discussed a bit about the kind of places we liked to be in. She preferred the mountains, peace and quiet where she can just sit and think in peace. Think about life!

Now my office was in the far end of Noida. Just beside our campus were lush green farms growing crops like cauliflower and other stuff. And there was yet this lovely path which felt a bit like an offroad trip. The road was extremely peaceful and it gave a sense of being with oneself. Me and a friend went there while doing Car-o-bar and for a quick smoke post office hours. 

I took her to that place that day. That place is yet special to me as I have lot of good and bad memories in that place with her. Not exaggerating here, I could figure out the excitement mounting in her the moment she saw the place, as if she could give the world to someone who got her to a place like that (Did she? Read on). She took a couple of selfies and shared it in the group and her body language spoke of someone who was exhuberant. That moment I realised one thing, being happy is a really simple, but yet its difficult to be simple. She exhibited simplicity that day and I loved her all the more. She made me feel that there is something in this world worth living for or maybe there is something in this world which I can call 'My World'.

Slaty

Being in a WhatsApp group with office folks is something I detested to a large extent. I hated WhatsApp for a matter of fact, if its anything very urgent, call me! Why message? Its more time consuming!

But yes she found it very entertaining, sharing nonsensical videos on the groups and sharing long messages and pics is her best form of interaction. So we were in a group with two other colleagues, we were a closed knit kind of group. Us two, and another guy and a girl.

Now I had never heard someone love eating slate pencils! With this dialogue she related to my habit of chewing pan masala. Nonsense stuff again! 

Yes she loves eating slate pencils and would probably give the world to someone who got it for her (She did! Read on).

Both the girls in the group loved that snack. Yet her expression of the feeling behind having it was probably out of the world sentiment, I can relate the same feeling with weed! She said it tastes and smells somewhat like petrichor. I was like 'You relate the feeling with probably the most loved feeling I have. Petrichor! The smell can take me places and cool my mind in an instant!

So here again my priority and duty was to get her slate pencils (later I knew they are also called 'Slaty'). I got one packet each for both the girls (Another pain if you see a girl quarrel with a girl).

I am never in favour of her having it, its not safe! But still I got it for her. I just love the glow on her face once she saw the packets! I love the eyes which shone with happiness. I could probably stock up all the slate pencils in the world and give her one every minute to see that expression!

Powdered Sugar

Curd or yogurt is very useful for the body. Especially 'Khatta dahi', it helps digesion (The problem I have being a Bengali), it helps keep the body stable in terms of immunity and yes it also helps to cool the body during summers. I never had much of a fancy for it but yes I can have it.

The person who helped me gain all these knowledge about curd is my best half. I saw her since the very beginning of my association with her as a friend that she carried home made dahi in a small tiffin box with a pink lid everyday at office. And furthermore she had that with two pouches of cafe coffee day sugar! Calorie intake was a premium thing here. And yes she also offered me the same (Just me!). I declined all the time.

One day we were having lunch in the food court inside our office premises (four of us colleagues). Now she had to finish her office lunch that was a compulsion also she hated to waste food and her mother had made it all just for her early morning (Maa ke haath ke khane ka sentiment! I know!).

We had ordered host of things like chilli chicken rice bowl, chole bhature and others, yet she finished her lunch brought from home and the dug her hands into my chilli chicken rice bowl (She loves chicken). After having a perfect Chinese dish, out came the prodigal curd wala tiffin! But yes the cafe coffee day sugar pouches were missing! I knew she loved having it that way! What to do?

Priorities change you see. That time my first priority suddenly became to arrange for sugar!

I told her "Wait let me check at the Madras Coffee house, they might be able to help".

She said in her usual tone "Not required I will have it like this"

Yet I could sense her need for sugar that time. She could give the world to that person who gave her some (She did! read on).

I went to the coffee shop and got some sugar for her. But yes powdered sugar, that is used in coffee! But yes sugar is sugar be it in any form.

I could sense her body language and mood change once I got it. Yes it was not possible to have curd with powdered sugar yet she had it all the same and said softly 'Thank You'.

I replied "Thats not how it works. No sorry and no thank you"

Starting my next series of short tales. These are all small incidents that have left a mark in me yet you might find it meaningless. These tales will circulate around one character, a character which in my definition is one world for me - My best half.